May 17, 2017
Happy Birthday to my daughter Pamela, who if she had lived would have been 58.
This is astonishing to me, as I lost her when she was a fully grown woman of 44.
How would our lives have been different if she had not succumbed to breast cancer?
Would she still be taking the boat out to Lake Havasu for beer and pot?
Probably, as both were available then and more so now.
She liked to play hard, and was a pretty good water skier.
The horses she owned were her true loves, and when she could no longer ride, she still fed them and they had a life of leisure and perhaps boredom.
While she was healthy, we enjoyed watching the Persied Meteor shower, and going to California Adventureland at Disney Park. She was not intellectually minded, and would probably not read my many blogs on social issues, but discovered reading at a late age, and preferred Romances.
Johanna Lindsey and Daniele Steel were her choices and I forget if she ever liked the Harry Potter series when it first was on offer.
Usually we look back and think that our best experiences and memories were with our kids when they were babies and cute toddlers.
Not so with Pam. She was born at a time when we were just struggling along on low wages and no washer or diaper service. Besides developing colic, she had a sad attitude.
Maybe she picked up the vibrations of an unhappy pair of parents.
Imagine the humiliation of a Teutonic parent who had to take an open pail of dirty diapers to the laundromat when the wringer washer fed with quarters broke down.
Having children was not in either of her parent’s life plan.
At least her dad had enough life training to be able to hold down a job fixing aircraft, but me with no college degree and broke to boot had no plans except not to be homeless.
In a way I must thank my first born, as she provided the impetus for her parents to work a bit harder and be a success at least in the money department.
She was stable enough in her adult life to remain with one partner for 22 years, and if she had lived she would still be with him
Even I had to leave the marriage after 17 years, so that shows how antsy I was to get out on my own and live my own life.