A recently deceased news reporter finally got clearance to enter the various celestial regions for the purpose of interviewing the inhabitants therein.
It was not easy getting past Saint Peter for the Christian enclave, the Jinn’s at the Islamic portals and the Special Set Aside compound for the Mormons.
So let’s start at the first one, the Heavenly Christian acreages where we find some groups arranged conveniently on clouds practicing on their harps.
Heavenly Interviewer hereafter known as HI-
“ Well, this looks like town hall back in my world-How is everything?”
Group Leader-“ Well, it is the same old thing century after century, the rich keep trying to get in, and someone keeps complaining about the music arrangements, saying that we ought to have less Bach and more rock, but otherwise, we go along the same.”
HI-“So what you are saying is that Heaven is boring.”
GL- “Yeah pretty much.”
HI switches over to the Islamic world and tries to get an interview with Osama. After many delays and shifting from one department to another, he gets access to the man.
HI- “ How are you Sam?”
OBL-“ Not so good”
HI “Why is that?”
OBL “ After the 52nd virgin they are all the same.”
HI-” Oh sorry about that- How is the food?”
OBL- “ I found out too late that I am allergic to almonds, dates, and all sweetmeats.”
HI “So basically you are bored out of your gourd?”
OBL “ Pretty much.”
The Heavenly interviewer then climbs the wall separating the Special Set Aside area of Mormons who insist that they be segregated from the general population feeling that they have the One True Faith, and unlike all other religions should get special treatment from the Upper Management.
This climb is not easy, as there are many side paths consisting of slippery slopes, but after three millennia he gets in.
HI “ I would like to interview a Sister here and ask her opinion on the routine.”
Brother Joseph Smith- “ You can talk to one of my 30 wives if you like.”
Wife # 3-“ I would be happy to voice my honest opinion.”
HI- “ Can you tell me what your rewards here are?”
#3-“ My function is to run a planet of my own, but I don’t get to see it very often, as I am pumping out babies all the time. As you know, time is run differently here, and after the 52nd little frog it gets pretty boring.”
And that’s a wrap.