Now that we have another celebrity suicide, the headlines bring back my own struggle with dealing with the subject.
My oldest son did a high dive off the Coronado bridge about the same time that Kurt Cobain went on his last journey.
I thought at the time that it was a really selfish thing for my son, age 28, to do.
Suicides do not think of anyone else and nothing else but their own pain.
My son did leave a journal and a suicide timetable, so I know it was all about his pain.
In the case of Robin Williams, I have little sympathy for him because he is beyond that, but enormous empathy for his family.
Mr. Williams seemed to need constant attention and his one hour of performance at Carnegie Hall proved to me at least that without the focus of audiences, he might have withered away.
The failed marriages do not speak to a life that was very normal either.
My son was shy, and had failed relationships, only not as many as Mr. Williams.
He was always looking for the answers, and coming from a dysfunctional family tried to find the answers in religion. After about five different religious sects, he ended up in a fundamentalist group that was heavy on guilt, so this just compounded his problems with dealing with rejection.
As all the newspaper articles state- there is not one cause of suicide, and there are more suicides than homicides in this country.
I do not speak about conjecture, but facts as I have found in my own family’s case.
We all need help and counsel at times, and my son did not take the pills that were offered to him, he would not stop preaching about jesus at his job, and he thought god was mad at him.
All the rejection from employers and girl friends just made him profoundly depressed, and he did not even want to help himself.
That was the ultimate selfishness in my mind, and I do not feel like being forgiving and understanding about it.