On Mother’s Day our grown children like to sing our praises if they are good friends with us. Some of them even send money!
I had a great day because the check was in the mail on time, and I had the whole day to myself to meditate and read, and watch dvd’s.
In her card, my daughter mentions sacrifice. I don’t know what she is talking about! What sacrifice?
When I got married and moved to the city and away from the farm, I was pleased to get away from a dominating parent, farm chores, sand on the floors, ants in the sink and fleas on every cat,dog and chicken around.
At my second apartment in the great city of Oakland of 1958, the rent was cheap, I had a washer operated by coins, and an outside line to dry the diapers on.
Lake Merrit was there with paddle boats to rent, the Grand theater showed foreign movies with sub titles, and we could get a dollar plate of spaghetti before the show. A glass of wine was fifty cents.
Although my marriage started off on a not so rosy state, I soon convinced my husband that being married was not all that bad, and he was not sacrificing much in the way of freedom. I was determined to improve my lot, so studied from library books and took correspondent classes from UC Berkeley.
As to raising children so that they would grow up to be the kind that are compassionate to others (like my Buddhist son) and health care daughter, I was simply copying my own mother’s pattern.
She said that it is better not to be gossip, and if you can’t say something nice about someone don’t say anything. The Golden Rule was in there somewhere, despite my Catholic upbringing.
Yes, it is possible to raise children to be good moral people without belonging to any church. As parents we decided that it would b e a time waster, as my husband had some residual negative feelings about the Catholic Church obtained from HIS father! We tried to not let these prejudices get handed down, so no one even mentioned religion.
I enjoyed looking at my kids’ sweet little faces, and tried to give them a happy and interesting childhood. If a baby is cute, everyone loves it, and if the child grows to be even prettier as she gets older, what reason do we as parents have to mistreat a little flower?
Later, when I had the opportunity, I took my older children to Australia, Guam, Hawaii, Europe, Canada and all the train rides in Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm. These fun things are remembered forever after.
Then the tradition gets carried forward with the grandchildren, and soon the great grandchildren.
My children continually thank me for raising them the way that I did, and despite some hard times through divorce and poverty, my attitude is that of looking forward to the next adventure!